Dart League Week 12 vs. Team Legalize It

Score after round 1:
Club Car 10, Legalize It 6

Score after round 2:
Club Car 19, Legalize It 15

Score after round 3:
Club Car 23, Legalize it 20

Last week, after months of fruitless searches, I found my Club Car darts t-shirt from the previous year. I don't think the significance of this event should be underestimated. Picture this: if the impossible happens, if we do we end up winning the title this year and become disgustingly rich and famous, I think a good deal of that will be due to having appropriate apparel the day of the big game.

True, I played in my Hiromatsu Japanese baseball jersey for several weeks. But Hiromatsu invariably produced mixed results. Why is this?

What people don't understand, and I certainly didn't as of one week ago, is that darts is a sport, like football or basketball, that you can't just use any old shirt to play in. Imagine a football player wearing Tiger Woods red polo for a big game. Would that fly for a football game? Of course not. Why? Because football players need the kind of protection that comes from wearing shoulder pads and helmets. They also need jerseys that clearly mark who is on each team so they don't start passing to anyone wearing a red polo shirt. In short, the needs of the game dictate the apparel of the game.

Darts is EXACTLY like that. How can I expect to play in a Hiromatsu baseball jersey and honestly expect to perform well? The buttons push against my abdomen, forcing me to be tense and uncomfortable, and the perforation of the jersey causes the airflow to reach levels that are abnormal and confusing to my body. This in turn makes me nervous, causing my hand to shake and my darts to fly imperfectly. It's just simple physiology. This doesn't even take into account the far more serious threat that, when I'm not wearing a Club Car jersey, half the time I don't even know whose on my team! Seriously, I just throw darts at a board, go home, and hope somebody sorts it out at the end.

True, I could look at my teammates faces or general body types to distinguish them. But eye-contact and human interaction make me extremely uncomfortable. I'm a dart-thrower, not a psychologist. A far more sound way would be to have everyone wear jerseys identifying which team they play for. That way we can be sure there will be no confusion once the lights turn on and the action begins.

It's quite clear that a black cotton t-shirt that says "Club Car Darts" is literally the only way to go. It all seems so clear now.

So, like a high school football player on game day (or grade school cub scout on picture day) I wore my jersey at school during game day. As I strutted through the halls, my peers slapped my back and lavished me with encouragement. I knew a lot was riding on this game tonight, and I wasn't about to let my community and nation down.

When I arrived at the Club Car, I could tell that we would have our hands full. The members of team "Legalize It" were at the line practicing, and the sweet smell of freshly smoked pot that permeated the men's room was a sure sign that they had been making preparations for some time now. They definitely weren't going to be taking this game lightly.

I was proven correct when, late in the game, either team had a legitimate chance to win it. And for that, team Legalize It should be applauded. Not everyone has the courage to stand up to a team that has won 8 straight matches and go the full ten rounds. But we were able to claw out a win despite their efforts and their practice, and despite their possible use of performance enhancing drugs (the latter is a topic for the Iowa City Dart League Performance Enhancing Drug Enforcement Agency, or, ICDLPEDEA. Considering they only have a staff of 23 local people and several volunteers, I honestly don't see them having the time).

So that's 9 straight heading into playoffs. Who would've thought that so much could be accomplished with just a little teamwork and a few comfortable cotton jerseys?