Tips For Playing Scrabble in Guanajuato

The Basics

Here’s the setup. The only board we have was found at a rental house, so we have to make do. It’s a Spanish board with Spanish tiles, so all English and Spanish words are acceptable. If there is a challenge of an English word, we will search in the official scrabble tournament word list online. If there is a challenge of a Spanish word, we will use the nearest Spanish/English dictionary that’s handy.

After challenges have been made, it is requisite that all players at the table sound off on how arbitrary/stupid/ridiculous it is that the disputed word is/isn’t a playable word. If you’ve been drinking heavily (which you will have been) please act especially outraged at the injustice of it all.

Choosing a teammate

If you are playing on teams, plan ahead when picking your teammate. In a sense, this is a bit like picking a vice presidential candidate; you should have someone that shores up your weaknesses and complements the ticket. If you are not a Spanish speaker, make absolute sure that you have someone who speaks (or more importantly, writes) it well; if you’re completely drunk, select someone who voluntarily refrains from the bottle; if you’re illiterate, choose someone who has experience with letters and words. You get the idea.

If you have failed to complement your inadequacies with superior talent, don’t fear. Played at a rather European pace, games in Guanajuato can last upwards of three hours, meaning that either you or your teammate will probably have lost interest and left the table long before the game’s completion.

Point values

Be careful of the point values on the tiles. While q may be an extremely potent letter in English Scrabble, due to the relative ubiquity of q’s in common Spanish words (que, querer, queso, etc), its influence in this game has been halved. It is now worth only 5 points.

On the other hand, get an “ll” and you’re in for a treat. It’s worth 8 points and may be used as simply two l’s in English.

A final note on tile usage, the ñ may be used simply as an “n.” This rule, though established by ample precedent in previous matches, will also surely be disputed a number of times throughout the game.

Bonus Points, First Category

The basic rule is that any sex-related word is automatically doubled. Of course, what constitutes a sex-related word is a perpetual bone (sex related word?) of contention.

In order for a word to be considered a “sex-related” there must be an official table roll call. Though there is no hard and fast rule on this, at a table with 8 players, 4 votes is usually the de minimis standard that one must reach in order to be awarded double points. A rule concerning the quorum necessary for a vote to take place has never been officially established.

If at all possible, avoid dual-usage words such as “date” or “bed.” Usually, someone will say something like “Feb. 17th is a date, that’s not sexual.” This will be followed by a dispute and various lobbying efforts in an effort to secure votes. Instead, try to stick with words like “coitus” (the opening word for one of our games) or “whore,” which generally do not allow for more than one legitimate meaning.

Before you play your word, make sure you have thoroughly formulated your argument for why it should be considered “sex-related.”

I ran into this problem playing the word “roadies,” which I claimed was both a seven-letter and sexual word. Though I won over several votes quickly, I ran into a stiff resistance from people familiar with the distinction between groupies and roadies, and ultimately lost the case. "Anus" was also shot down after a lengthy discourse on the fine differences between its nominal (anus) and adjectival (anal) forms.

Note to the world: this is what happens when you get a bunch of lawyers together to play an otherwise civil board game.

Remember, though the match may seem good-natured and friendly, at its heart it is an example of board-game-realpolitik at its most vicious and unforgiving. In all likelihood, the “goodwill” of your opponents is probably based on shady political alliances or some sort of long-term, self-serving strategy.

Thus, even if you feel like you have a word that is unquestionably “sex-related,” it might not fly. This is especially ture if the game is tight. This means that your opponents are more willing to sacrifice good sportsmanship and the respect of their peers for their sweaty quest for victory.

Be aware of this and form alliances early on.

Bonus points, Second Category

In addition to sex-related words, one other category of words will be selected as having double point value. This category will be chosen according to the night the game is played on. If it is the night before your academic finals and you should be studying, double points will be awarded for words concerning international transactions. If it is the last night of the NBA Finals, sports words will be awarded double points.

For example, playing the word “pathetic” would be sports-related because it aptly describes the performance of the L.A. Lakers and, especially, Kobe Bryant (sorry Ryan) in their final match against the Celtics. "Rejoice" and "smug" would also be acceptable words because they were illustrative of my reaction to that lopsided victory.

And yes, if you can play a word that is both sex-related and sports-related, (“balls” for instance) you will be awarded quadruple points.

Of course, the holy grail of point combinations would be playing a seven letter word (+50 points) that is sex-related (x2), sports-related (x2), and falls on a triple word score (x3). I think a strong argument could be made that the word “ballers,” if appropriately played, would fall into this category.

Parting Thoughts

That should give you a pretty good start. And don’t be afraid of all the rules changes. Equipped with these tips and just a little bit of self-confidence, you’ll be able to go out there and show all those lawyers how the game is played. Just remember, you’re a baller.

Guanajuato (Guana-what-o?)

The mummy museum:

A while ago the authorities in Guanajuato started digging up the graves of people whose relatives couldn't afford to pay the graveyard fees (two guarantees: death and taxes right?). It turns out the minerals in the soil in Guanajuato naturally preserve human tissue and (especially) clothes, so they had all these creepy loooking mummies on their hands. If the mummies are presentable enough to make the cut, they put them in this museum.

This might be the coolest and most truly macabre museum I’ve seen in my life. My favorite bit? the little baby mummies perfectly preserved in cute, perfectly preserved baby blue cardigans (see above). In addition to the spooky music that keeps you on your toes as you make blind turns into new exhibition rooms, interpretations on Simon and Garfunkel play in the background free of charge. (Seriously).

Spanish speaking:

I’m currently doing the majority of my sightseeing with two excellent Spanish speakers, both who more or less speak it as a first language. This is obviously a plus and a minus. Plus: I can listen to them speak and crib notes and ask them questions. Minus: Whenever there is any millisecond break in communication or pause for reflection they are quick to the rescue. Eso es la vida.

The Basilica in Guanajuato:

It’s quite beautiful and impressive, but it’s under construction so I haven’t taken a picture. On one occasion I raised my camera, ready to capture her majesty, imperfections and all. But then felt a little dirty, like I was taking a picture of someone who wasn’t fully clothed without their permission. When the scaffolding on the walls of the basilica has been removed, I will get the shot that both I and the Basilica deserve.

The Ex-Hacienda Outside of Town:

The Ex-Hacienca included the luxurious mansion and immaculate, sprawling gardens where the nobles lived and played while the peasants slaved away in the hot Mexican sun. Some of them were over a million acres large. A million acres. Diego Rivera and Grant Wood would have been rolling, mummy-like, in their graves. Viva land reform!

Why Diego Rivera is the Grant Wood of Mexico, or Vice Versa

As soon as I find someone who claims to have even passing knowledge of both Grant Wood and Diego Rivera, I’m going to make this bold statement: “You know, if you think about it, Grant Wood was really the Diego Rivera of the United States,” and see what comes out of it.

I will concede at the outset that this post will be written with the aid of hazily remembered facts and an imperfect understanding of the stylistic nuances of the visual arts (read: please don’t fact check this post). That being said, in quickly cobbling together the little that I know about the styles, eras, and politics of the two iconic painters, I think you’ll agree that the similarities are uncanny.

Where to start? Both were born in smallish, land-locked towns in the Western Hemisphere; Wood in Anamosa, IA and Rivera in Guanajuato, Guanajuato. Both began painting at a very early age and continued to study the arts through high school and college. Both went to Europe during the Impressionism craze and painted various impressionisty/cubistical looking pieces that hardly even resemble their more famous works. And for both Wood and Rivera, it was after being exposed to these colonial influences that both painters ended up finding their unique voices that, in many ways, were a reaction to and a rejection of these continental influences.

Rivera returned to Mexico and began to paint what he knew: the peasants, the indigenous peoples, farmers, laborers using bold, bright colors and simple figures. Wood returned, stepped out of his home near Iowa City, and began to paint scenes of farms and country folk performing everyday tasks using a similarly bright and bold color scheme on his canvasses, although usually with a tad more attention to detail.

And there’s more. They were also both ardent lefties. Rivera was an admirer of Emiliano Zapata, from whom the leftist Zapatista rebels (a group still active in the state of Chiapas) take their name, and a member of Mexico’s Communist party. Wood became close friend to Vice President and Iowan Henry A. Wallace, who ran unsuccessfully for President with the Progressive Party after being dropped by Roosevelt for being, get this, too liberal (and over-crazy). Wood even did Wallace’s portrait for a Time Magazine cover that appeared during his glory days. Both artists had successful academic careers teaching painting, Rivera at some University that I can’t remember, and Grant Wood at the University of Iowa.

Appropriate to their politics, both painters also played major roles in New Deal type policies. Rivera was chosen to lead various government funded mural projects when the government was looking to put people to work. Wood became the leader of several major public works art projects in the Midwest during the New Deal.

These appointments makes sense, as both men were proponents of murals as a more democratic form of art. Murals beautified cities and made art part of the landscape of one’s everyday world. They were also major projects and called for the work of many men to complete. Rivera has his murals at, among other places, the Palacio Nacional in Mexico City; Wood has his at, among other places, the Iowa State University Library.

Possibly the most striking similarities between the two mural-painting, revolutionary-loving, farmer-depicting lefties, was their philosophy about painting and art. Rivera revolted against all things colonial: customs, religion, class, cruelty, etc. Wood too revolted, but it was against a different kind of colonialism. He revolted against a blind acceptance of the artistic forms, subjects, and styles that had filtered from the cultural centers in Europe, through the East Coast of the States, eventually to be adopted by the heartland as not just fine art, but the finest art.

In his manifesto Revolution and the City, Wood called this kind of trickle down capacity for artistic creation or appreciation “Cultural Colonialism.” That’s right, the man wrote manifestos. And some critics refer to him and his work as quaint. Quaint people don’t spend sweaty nights pumping out manifestos. Wood took on the art establishment and he won. His victories might have been short lived, but they were on his terms. And at the time, this was revolutionary. To think, a painter in Iowa could step outside of his home, paint the land and his neighbors, and call it Art. The gall.

Of course, of the two, Rivera is viewed as the more revolutionary, probably because 1) he was a communist who participated in Communist revolutions; and 2) he was more overt in his critiques of religion, which always tends to get a rise out of the faithful. Case in point: one of the murals at the Palacio Nacional features a Priest with a bottle of liquor in one hand and a prostitute’s arse in the other. Then again, I still think there is a strong argument that American Gothic actually is a subtle critic on religion and conformity.

But let’s not stray to much from the thesis. When you get down to the heart of the matter, the two aren’t that different. They were both anti-colonialist skeptics who celebrated the simple beauty of the worlds that surrounded them. Revolutionaries both, through and through.

Viva Rivera! Viva Wood! Viva La Revolution!

Diego Rivera: 1886-1957
Grant Wood: 1892-1942

Some Thoughts That May or May Not Concern Mexico City

On the whole, I find travel stories to be boring and self-indulgent (calm down, I’ve been witness to 100’s of exceptions). This being the case, I’ll try to make it quick.

The Flight:

If I fly a million times in my life, I doubt I will ever tire of looking out the little double-paned window during take-offs and landings. The matchbox-sized cars pulsating through the main arteries of the city, the personal pools dotting the suburbs, the grid-like organization, the verdant parks and the symmetric and well-manicured baseball fields, I love it all. Occasionally I see someone with a window seat reading a magazine. Invariably, he looks exceptionally cool and seasoned. I, on the other hand, have my face pressed, 6 year-old-like, firmly against the pane for 10 minutes straight, admiring the millions of hours of human blood, sweat, and blueprints that brought us the modern day metropolis. Impressive.

Flying in to Mexico City was no exception. Its size is mind-numbing, and there were plenty of cool streets, buildings, and smog to keep a spectating passenger occupied while landing. And the best part of its massive size, as the Museum of Mexico City points out in its permanent exhibit about the city, is that “it all fits in a basin.”

Ha! Humor in museums? I love Mexico already.

The Hostel:

I think a great idea for a reality show would involve filming the revolving cast of characters that occupy the cockroach infested rooms of international hostels. German loners, American middle-school teachers, New Zealand surfers, British students, Canadian skateboarders (all of whom were present at Hostel Amigo) under one roof, reading their enormous, eco-political books, swapping travel stories and getting wasted on alcohol and diarrhea while the cameras captured it all.

Obviously, turnover would be a problem. So by the end of the show you’d have a catalogue of some 5000 plus characters. But given Altman-like direction and an audience open to the idea of a different kind of character development, it just might work.

As for my hostel, I couldn’t complain. Seven dollars for a room, breakfast, dinner, free internet and a pool table. Also included, free of charge, was the late night music. The music, apparently DJ'd by Donald Rumsefeld, was played just loud enough to shake the floors and make sleep impossible, but not loud enough to physically hurt you.

The Diego Rivera Murals in Mexico City:

One of the more impressive murals in the Palacio Nacional depicts a jumbled mass of over 2000 people, many of them historical figures. That’s 2000 individual faces, painstakingly painted.

And thank God I found a guide. Sure, I could have seen the murals by myself. I even would have appreciated them. But having a guide explain the history behind the images was fantastic. I think there’s part of our brain, probably from being read to as children, that craves to have pictures explained and described. “The running goat is happy,” says my mother, pointing to the image. And sure enough, there is a goat. And he’s running. AND he’s happy! To a child, the descriptive power of language is almost like a magic trick.

I think that’s kind of how I felt looking at the murals in Mexico City. Our guide would explain the way in which the Aztecs collected taxes, and sure enough we’d look up and see the whole scene it being elaborately played out in a historic, pastel snapshot 10 feet tall.

Somebody’s Got a Case of the Mondays

In Mexico City, all parks, museums, and zoos are closed on Monday just ‘cause. Make sure you take advantage of this day to ride aimlessly on the metro or wander around markets.

The Bus to Guanajuato

I can say, without the slightest bit of hesitation, that the bus from Mexico City to Guanajuato was the nicest bus I have ever had the privilege to step foot on. Though my previous experiences are limited to school buses (three to a seat!) and greyhounds (vagrant-drug-sex in the back row!), I have a hard time even imagining a bus more comfortable than the one provided by ETN. I officially support ETN buses.

Stay tuned for news from beautiful Guanajuato.