The way I see it, there isn't much that government can do that the private system can't do better. This country is founded on free market principles and if we put the incentives in the right place, a functioning market can solve just about any of our problems.
That's why I'm getting sick and tired of "America's Finest" running around helping any old person who cries thief when he's getting robbed.
A system of law enforcement that responds to the needs of any citizen in need, even if they haven't paid for it is just stupid. It's more than stupid. It's socialistic. And that's not what this country is about.
Why isn't it what this country about? Well, first of all, because it's government controlled. You show me someone who says that government can do something better than private enterprise and I'll show you someone who's about to get my fist in his mouth. (Laughter from the audience).
I'm tired of having everyone mooch off of me for police protection. I haven't been robbed once in my home, or mugged, or needed to investigate the murder of a family member. So why am I footing the bill for those that have? Do you have any idea how much it costs to send policemen to someone's house to end a domestic dispute? You don't even want to know. This kind of socialization of our legal enforcement forces makes absolutely zero sense. I'd like to emphasize that this is socialistic and possibly communistic. And I'd like to re-emphasize that this isn't what America is about because it's not using the free-market.
That's what disgusted me the most about 9/11, not the senseless loss of human life, but the way that those NYC police just went around helping everyone regardless if they had paid their fair share. It's simply disgusting. Everyone time I saw a "brave" NYC police officer reach into the rubble and pull out a thankful victim, all I saw were the numbers in my bank account diminishing exponentially.
That's why I'm for "security insurance" for every member of our society. Everyone out there in the audience knows that if we can just get "security insurance" for each and every person out there the whole system would be a lot more efficient. We could finally rid ourselves of the inefficiency that is big-government law enforcement. Insurance is the answer.
I know this is a relatively new concept, but applying the basic American principle that people should be paying for the services that they receive, here's basically how it will work. Let's say you are a 50 year-old woman and a burglar is breaking into your home. You've hidden yourself in the closet and are trying to call your local private security provider to help you.
If you're a bad citizen and an inadequate supplier of necessities to your family because you're lazy and don't want to work --that means you Jose, remember how I offered you $5/hour to pick my tomatoes and you were too good for that?- (laughter again from crowd)-- then you don't have the necessary security insurance and you'll have to pay the consequences, which means being robbed. This is the free-market functioning as it should.
Now if you're a good citizen and you don't waste your money on drugs and prostitutes, which means you have enough money to purchase "security insurance," you'll call your national security service provider and he'll try to direct you to the local service provider to take care of your problem. In this case let's say it will be 20 minutes.
What's that? There's a security provider right down the street from you who could be there in time to disarm the intruder? Well, you may be right, but that security provider is actually outside of your policy. In fact, it's a whole different company. Now why would we send that guy if he doesn't even work for us? That's kind of a silly question isn't it? You obviously don't understand the concept of the efficiency of free markets. (laughter from crowd).
After all, you did have the choice to choose that provider when you got an insurance plan. You should have operated as a rational economic actor, comparing the reputation, price, coverage, proximity, and accessibility of the different policies when you had the chance grandma.
What's that? You got your security insurance with your job? Well, don't come crying to me. You knew full well exactly which company operated exactly which locations across the country when you meticulously read (as rational actors do) your insurance policy upon taking that job. It was your choice to take the job after all. Nobody forced you into it. That's why this is such a great country. If you wanted, you could have shopped around until you found the perfect job with the perfect insurance company that operated a security office as close as possible to your domicile. And don't even try to tell me you didn't have time for that because I know you were watching America's Next Top Model for like three hours last weekend. You reap what you sow.
So anyway, now let's say you're in your house, and the burglar has you tied up. You've played by the book and been connected to your security provider.
Help arrives and you're so happy to see them. Tied to a chair, you explain that you are a policy holder of Company X. The security forces very capably secure the household. The quality of their service leaves absolutely nothing to be desired. They are efficient, calm, and in charge. There suits are crisp and professional looking and they have the latest in hi-tech gadgetry. Why is this? Because security companies are raking in record profits and buying all sorts of cool shit for their staff. Finally, we don't have to look at those drab old communist outfits that our pathetic cops used to wear. Who's with me? (laughter from audience.)
After securing the home, they begin to ask you questions about what happened where. You tell them that you were in your bedroom when the attacker arrived and bound your hands and demanded that you remain silent. The man who appears to be in charge frowns and jots it down. The security brigade eventually departs after finishing their work.
Soon thereafter, you get a bill for $1200. They must have made a mistake, you think. You have security insurance, this should all be paid for. So you call up your provider and the woman on the other end of the phone line, a perky, well-meaning woman named Lacy with three kids at home explains to you that the break-in wasn't actually covered. "Why not?" You ask? "I don't have $1200. I thought I had insurance."
The woman, used to this kind of imbecilic complaining, explains the miscommunication to you as simply as she can, "Actually, Your policy covers incidents that took place in all communal areas and bathrooms, but as you explained to our investigator that night, it doesn't cover incidents that took place in bedrooms."
"But, but," you exclaim, "he drug me out into the living room after tying me up in the bedroom. Doesn't that mean anything?"
"I'm afraid not," the woman replies. "As the policy clearly states, if an incident began in any bedroom in the house, even if such incident is continued in other rooms of the house, You aren't covered. I'll send you a copy of the policy so that you can look over it. It's quite clearly written in 1345 (a) (6) (13) (ii). I've no idea how you could have missed it. If only you could have hidden in the living room closet. Oh well, live and learn I guess." The woman says cheerily.
You spend hours going over this policy, mailing letters, receiving rejections from the company. You make phone call after phone call all to no avail.
And now, here's the kicker, then you start whining about how this kind of industry needs to be regulated. REGULATED?!
And then I, anonymous Republican presidential candidate say: Who the hell are you? StalinLeninCheFidel? Sure, why don't we just socialize our entire police force? Ha. That'll be the day. The naivete of your views on economic policy make me disgusted that you're an American.
But you won't hear my words, because before that burglar left he made sure to work you over a little bit with a tire iron, leaving you deformed and deaf in both ears. And you, like the DUMBFUCK that you are, didn't have health insurance. . .
which would have fixed everything.
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