The American electorate, the fragile, gullible, and largely ignorant mass of humans charged with the responsibility of electing the next leader of the free world, was shocked to learn yesterday that presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama was just another creation of brilliant and cheeky British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen.
Cohen, famous for creating such beloved characters as hip-hop dimwit Ali G, sexist and anti-Semitic Kazakh reporter Borat, and flamboyant gay fashion journalist Bruno, stepped forward today and admitted to being the comic genius behind the optimistic and inspirational politician whom many citizens considered to just too damn good to be true.
"I had really been focusing a lot on creating kind of tongue-in-cheek stereotypes and getting people's reaction to them," explained the unmasked Mr. Cohen. "I just got to thinking, ‘what if, instead of recording my own act with my own cameras and such, which can be quite difficult, why don't I just let CNN and Fox cover every step of my new character?’"
Cohen was pleased with the results of his stunt, noting that he never thought that Obama would be as successful as he was. The character, whom Cohen gave the non-sensical and funny sounding name “Barack Obama,” came out of nowhere onto the presidential scene, quickly becoming the leader in total delegate count and amassing popular support across a wide array of demographics. His most recent success included winning 10 straight Democratic Primaries across the nation.
“When I won that 10th contest in a row, I started thinking that maybe this joke has gone too far,” said Cohen. “Plus people were sending me all of this money, it was some crazy shit. Do you realize people sent me 30 million dollars last quarter? That’s crazy.”
Obama's supporters have admitted to experiencing a range of emotions, from disappointment to amusement to embarrassment, upon hearing the news.
"Go figure," one Obama supporter was heard as saying, "the one presidential candidate in my life that I've really supported and he turns out to be a hoax. I knew it was too good to be true. Not bad Cohen. Not bad at all. Looks like I’ll be staying home in November after all."
Despite Obama’s newly discovered non-existence, other supporters remain determined to see their dream candidate elected. These stalwarts insist that Mr. Cohen remain in the race as his alter-ego, Barack Obama, until he is elected or defeated in November.
"Okay, so no guy named Barack Obama really exists. Big deal. Obvioulsy Mr. Cohen has a sense of foreign policy and is a great speaker. I say he keeps playing the role and see how this thing turns out," said Joel Jackson, a self-professed “Obamber.”
Should Mr. Cohen elect to remain in the race, experts agree that such a decision would pose some tricky and heretofore unseen constitutional questions for our federal judiciary. Ed Jones, a constitutional scholar at the kick-ass University of Iowa law school, explained the questions presented in a possible Obama victory.
"Obviously Mr. Cohen couldn't run for office because, being British, he wasn’t born in the country,” said Jones. “On the other hand, there is very little dispute that Mr. Obama, who is Mr. Cohen's creation, was certainly born in the United States. So the question would remain for the court: can a fictional character who was born in the United States and is an American citizen run for the president of the United States? And, frankly, that's a question that the Supreme Court of the United States hasn't had the opportunity to answer.”
Cohen, famous for creating such beloved characters as hip-hop dimwit Ali G, sexist and anti-Semitic Kazakh reporter Borat, and flamboyant gay fashion journalist Bruno, stepped forward today and admitted to being the comic genius behind the optimistic and inspirational politician whom many citizens considered to just too damn good to be true.
"I had really been focusing a lot on creating kind of tongue-in-cheek stereotypes and getting people's reaction to them," explained the unmasked Mr. Cohen. "I just got to thinking, ‘what if, instead of recording my own act with my own cameras and such, which can be quite difficult, why don't I just let CNN and Fox cover every step of my new character?’"
Cohen was pleased with the results of his stunt, noting that he never thought that Obama would be as successful as he was. The character, whom Cohen gave the non-sensical and funny sounding name “Barack Obama,” came out of nowhere onto the presidential scene, quickly becoming the leader in total delegate count and amassing popular support across a wide array of demographics. His most recent success included winning 10 straight Democratic Primaries across the nation.
“When I won that 10th contest in a row, I started thinking that maybe this joke has gone too far,” said Cohen. “Plus people were sending me all of this money, it was some crazy shit. Do you realize people sent me 30 million dollars last quarter? That’s crazy.”
Obama's supporters have admitted to experiencing a range of emotions, from disappointment to amusement to embarrassment, upon hearing the news.
"Go figure," one Obama supporter was heard as saying, "the one presidential candidate in my life that I've really supported and he turns out to be a hoax. I knew it was too good to be true. Not bad Cohen. Not bad at all. Looks like I’ll be staying home in November after all."
Despite Obama’s newly discovered non-existence, other supporters remain determined to see their dream candidate elected. These stalwarts insist that Mr. Cohen remain in the race as his alter-ego, Barack Obama, until he is elected or defeated in November.
"Okay, so no guy named Barack Obama really exists. Big deal. Obvioulsy Mr. Cohen has a sense of foreign policy and is a great speaker. I say he keeps playing the role and see how this thing turns out," said Joel Jackson, a self-professed “Obamber.”
Should Mr. Cohen elect to remain in the race, experts agree that such a decision would pose some tricky and heretofore unseen constitutional questions for our federal judiciary. Ed Jones, a constitutional scholar at the kick-ass University of Iowa law school, explained the questions presented in a possible Obama victory.
"Obviously Mr. Cohen couldn't run for office because, being British, he wasn’t born in the country,” said Jones. “On the other hand, there is very little dispute that Mr. Obama, who is Mr. Cohen's creation, was certainly born in the United States. So the question would remain for the court: can a fictional character who was born in the United States and is an American citizen run for the president of the United States? And, frankly, that's a question that the Supreme Court of the United States hasn't had the opportunity to answer.”
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